Spontaneity Anyone?

Good Spontaneity.
My life-long friend called me Monday and surprised me with the news that she was going to Hawaii at the end of July....and wanted me to come! Normally, the logical, number-crunching side of my brain would say "I just can't - I don't have the money." But I allowed my elusive spontaneous side to take over and I AM GOING TO HAWAII in a little over a month! FOR A WEEK!! And only paying $75 TOTAL to stay, plus flight & food of course. I could not be more excited, not to mention proud that I am just going for it- you know, taking life by the... well, being exciting for once. Yay me!

Bad Spontaneity.
I woke up yesterday morning - early mind you, so I would actually do my hair and make-up properly - only to discover my water had been turned off- AGAIN. No shower for me. The apartment has been "fixing a series of leaks" for a week now, and frankly if they shut off my water one more time, they might be dealing with more than just a leak. Enter: enraged woman who can't shower when she wants. Who decided 7 AM would be a good time to shut off apartment water? Did no one consider that most people are up trying to get ready for work at that hour? As if that wasn't irritating enough, I got home that same day to discover my AC had broken. In 100 degree weather. So I call maintenance to get this repaired, and encounter the least helpful & most argumentative customer service representative known to man. Our conversation:

Me: Hi, I live in #2415 and my AC is broken- how quickly can you get someone out here?

CSR: #2415- Emily?

Me: Huh?

CSR: Your name is Emily?

Me: Oh, no. My name is Sheridan.

CSR: Did you just move there?

Me: In March...

CSR: Hmmm. That is weird.

Me: So...about my AC- can you get someone out here?

CSR: How do you spell your name?

Me: S-H-E-R-I-D-A-N

CSR: S-E-R-I-D-A-N

Me: No, S-H-E-R-I-D-A-N

CSR: That's what I SAID. Phone number?

Me: (gave her #- you don't get that)

CSR: OK, thank you. Need anything else?

Me: Yes, do you know when they will come? It is really really hot in here.

CSR: No.

Me: Well, will they call before they come?

CSR: Ma'am I am just taking the message for them, I don't know.

Me: OK, thanks?

About 2 hours later, maintenance is still a no show so I decide to check. I call again and get a different lady. She informs me that they do not make AC calls after sun down and they will be there first thing in the AM. I guess it would have been too difficult for the 1st woman to tell me that, lest I actually know what was going on.

Strep Throat of Doom

I loathe strep throat. I get it anytime I am exposed to it. And sure enough, I got it this week. I have been locked up in my house on the couch, watching reruns of House Hunters and Property Virgins on HGTV (wow, showing my age a bit) and wallowing in self pity. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but whenever I get sick and I am at that full-blown illness stage, I convince myself "you better get used to this" because OBVIOUSLY I will never recover- I am too far gone. Seconds from death. I will have to quit my job, move in with my parents, lose all my friends, and become a dependant sloth of a person, under the constant care of my mother for life until she gives up and enters me into a nursing home facility. Just as my illness-induced paranoia was coming to fruition, the doctor gave me a magical shot of medicine in my left hiney cheek and I started to see the hope of possible recovery. Seriously, if you ever get Strep, ask for the shot. It stings for like 30 seconds going in, but I felt almost 100% better in under 24 hours. So much more than I can say for the last time I got strep (about a year ago) and the doc put me on the oral medication. I was out for a good 5 days that time. Now fully recovered, I have completely disinfected the house: changed the sheets, threw out my toothbrush, sterilized my water bottles, the works. I have also vowed to take a vitamin c pill daily- you know, try to beef up that immune system so maybe, just maybe, I can fend this off if exposed again (which inevitably I will be). Not to let my pessimistic side show, but I am pretty sure any extra efforts will be in vain as I am apparently at the mercy of this particular virus. And I am sure one year from now, you will probably be reading another blog post about how I almost "died" from Strep.

Noteworthy Nonsense

So my friend Courtney found this on the internet and I just had to share. Further evidence that celebrities are idiot robots programmed to act indredibly strange and say stupid things:

See Jessica Alba Pose by Poster of Shark Here

My favorite part of the article: "Apparently she was trying to help promote shark conservatism in land-locked Oklahoma..."

Aww, shucks, those crazy celebrities and their philanthropic causes.

Project Eat Better: Day 9.

I'm not sure I have made much progress.

Wednesday 6/3/09 @ 3:28 PM: I broke down and ate a microwave burrito and jalapeno ranch dip from Chuy's for lunch today. And a huge brownie. The burrito was one of those healthier type burritos, but a microwave burrito nonetheless. Look, I'm not perfect. I also had hot wings and fries this weekend- want to berate me for that? Sorry, I didn't mean to sass you like that. It's not your fault I am weak. I have kind of discovered that the only change I have really made to my diet is that I added more fruit and less McDonalds, plus a heck of a lot more guilt than ever before. So I still eat about the same, just more regret for what I have put down my throat. Healthier? Well, more accountability perhaps. I really am trying. And I think it is a miracle I haven't been to McDonalds or Wendy's for a week. So, progress. I still haven't touched the salad I bought. I just really don't like salad. There are some things I just can't do. I also am pretty sure there is some large scale conspiracy going on at my office to keep me from eating healthy. Monday was breakfast tacos from Taco C. Tuesday was dips and chips from Chuy's and ice cream cakes. How am I supposed to say no to all this free, wonderful food? They know I can't resist. They are evil. I will eat these oranges to spite them now.

More Lessons...

1. Before having a hysterical freak out at the sight of an insect dive bombing you in your bedroom, determine what kind of bug it actually is. Once you have ascertained the danger level to be at zero (hello June Bug), cease panic. However, if it is a donkey, run for your life. But you knew that.

2. Cement poles are not made of marshmallow, nor are they figments of your imagination. If you hit one while backing out of a parking space at warp speed, it won't magically pass through your car. It will create a massive dent on the side of said car and destroy the side mirror. It will cost you $500, an insurance claim, and your dignity.

3. Don't get so attached to inanimate objects. One day your mom and dad will sell their house WITHOUT asking your permission (GASP), and then where will you be? PSSSHAAAA.

4. Brownies are easy to cook and I am awesome at them. I also eat them very well.

Project Eat Better: Day One.

I have decided to take control of my life and cut out (or at least cut down) on the fried foods and sweets/snacks that I have so happily thrived on for the past 25 years (or more accurately, ever since I moved out of mom & dad's house and was forced to forage for my own food). I went to HEB and stocked up on fruits, veggies, granola, and anything my "nutritionist" (aka my friend who eats healthy) said I should eat. I shall call this "Project Eat Better" and I intend to really stick to a strict diet for at least 2 weeks straight. I feel one of two things will happen:

a) I start feeling better, have more energy, break my nasty eating habits and continue to eat healthier on a regular basis
b) I lose will power, crack, and continue to subsist off of grease, fat and chocolate.

Either way I win??

My journey begins:

Tuesday 5/26, 1:20 PM. It's been 5 hours. All I want is a Nutty Bar. I am lucky I had to work through 30 minutes of lunch today, forcing me to stay at the office. If I had gone home, I think I would have convinced myself to go ahead and eat those 4 Nutty Bars on the premise that this one time, it wouldn't hurt anything. I can hear myself now: "Sheridan, you ate strawberries and pineapple this morning. And there was lettuce on your food at lunch. Go ahead, eat the crap out of that chocolate. It's your reward. You almost NEED to in order to offset the fruit. It will taste so good and you will be so happy. EAT IT." I don't normally talk to myself in the third person. Or outloud. Oh crap. I just found a box of Nutty Bars in my desk drawer at work. Stay strong. You are only wanting to eat them out of boredom. And because of their peanut buttery, milk chocolatey, melt in your mouth goodness.... Nutty Bars are evil. Banana. Banana is good. Must eat.

TGIF

I have never been so happy to see the weekend on the horizon. I don't know why, but I have this anxious feeling that I MUST. GET. OUT. My cubicle is greatly offending me and I am pretty sure my chair is holding me down against my will. Dramatic, yes. I guess it is the glorious 3-day weekend looming ahead, enticing me to abandon my adult responsibilities.....

Nothing of vast importance to say, so here are my random "It's Friday!" notes on pop culture and society.

I found this story that I enjoyed. I love that he is from Texas. I love Texas.

File this under "Some people really gross me out/the fall of American morals and values".

Regardless of how you felt about the outcome of American Idol (or how much you didn't care at all), how adorable is Kris Allen?

This movie comes out today and I think it looks so stupid. I am highly offended by that preview where the pregnant woman is dancing and then has her baby on the dance floor and the baby starts break dancing. ICK. Nightmares.

However, this movie looks awesome and the geek in me can't wait to see it.

STOP GIVING THIS VAPID HUSSY HEADLINES.

Thanks to Courtney for finding this gem online. Another reason celebrities make me laugh and laugh and laugh...

Scary.

Pretty soon, the Pope himself will be twittering.

AMAZING! What a little hero.


HAPPY FRIDAY/MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!