Life Lessons

I have decided to start posting things I learn as I learn them. Not only do I do a lot of stupid things, I tend to not learn often from my mistakes. So maybe if I blog about them, I will remember to not be so dumb. Or maybe I will still be dumb but you will have ammunition to make fun of me.

Life lessons for this week:

1. Don't be a hero. No one truly expects you to be able to juggle 10 value meals from McDonalds AND drinks, iced coffee, and milkshakes on your way back to the office. You WILL spill the coffee all over your floorboard. Then, when you think you have it clean, it will actually be stewing in its own filth, waiting for you to get back in the car 4 days later only to discover the most pungent, offensive smell known to man has taken over your entire car. You will be forced to hold your nose while driving to walmart to buy baking soda to douse the mold/mildew that has grown just so you can make it home without vomiting from the stench. Then you will spend over an hour cleaning it out with your friend and then the next week waiting for it to fully dry and for your olfactories to fully recover. So moral of the story: do not buy drinks for coworkers when you volunteer to pick up lunch. It will end very very badly.

2. Buy a gps system sooner rather than later. You get lost EVERYTIME you drive anywhere new. It doesn't matter if there is a 500 ft neon flashing sign that says "Hey you! Exit here!"- you will still miss the turn and veer 15 minutes off your route before you realize "Hey wait a minute, wasn't I supposed to be on 36? That sign says 90..." Time to invest in a tom tom.

3.Sometimes people just suck. If they are the type of person who you can confront about their suckiness, then hooray for you because they will probably accept responsibility for their suckiness and mend their ways and it won't be an issue again. If you however come up against a person who sees no fault/error in their ways ever, you are really just beating your head against a brick wall repeatedly if you think confronting them or taking offense or worrying about how they acted will help the situation at all. Just sigh and try to avoid them until they stop sucking. Dwelling on it will only drive you insane. YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE and you certainly can't expect psychotic people to not be psychotic.

Give me a swift kick to the butt if you witness me ignoring any of these valuable lessons in the future.